About ten months before Rebecca was born Dr. Lowery gave a sermon on how people in church are not significantly different from people that don't go to church. Same or higher divorce rate, same or higher rate of addictions and many other interesting stats. Then he said that churchgoers also have a higher rate of TV viewing. He challenged us to think of what God could do in our life if we acted like we were supposed to and maybe even gave up TV. Dr. Fred also said we should spend quantity time with our kids and that is the only way that we can get quality time. He also said kids spell love t-i-m-e.
I wasn't ready to give up my vices, so I thought I would give up TV and spend more time with my kids. I was going to show God how good I was by giving up Fox news, HGTV, Seinfeld, NFL, Tiger Football, etc., and I had no idea what He had in store for me. At that point in my life that was a sacrifice. Well the girls got restless, so I bought all nine seasons of "Little House on the Prairie" for them to watch. And for the next ten months, that's what we watched. Sounds corny, but me and my kids could tell you anything about Little House.
Also, we heard a sermon that talked about how infinite eternity was. I read a book about how the time between birth and death geometrically, is like a dot, and that the time after our death is like a line. (A life God Rewards by Wilkerson). The dot represents our time between birth and death and the line represents our eternal life. The majority of our life happens after we take our last breath here on earth. After I read the book, Katherine asked me where her great grandmother was, who has passed away. I told her that Nanny was in heaven and that we would spend more time with her in heaven than we could ever spend with her here on earth because most of our life happens after we take our last breath on this earth. That comforted her. I almost did not tell her this, because I thought it would be too much for her to wrap her mind around.
Months passed.
The night Rebecca was born the whole family was in the waiting room. Katherine was interviewing everyone with the video camera and Elizabeth was coloring with Hollye. Labor was taking longer than expected and the doctor seemed to be acting unconcerned. Susan went into shock and she was given oxygen. A fear came over me that I had not felt. As the nurses rushed around, I walked over to Susan and asked her "are you ready for the worst case scenario?" she pulled the oxygen mask away from her face and said "yes." I then asked her "who are we relying on?" and she pulled down the mask and said "God." Her voice was strained but quiet. Even though there was chaos in the room, peace was in both of us.
I then called Robbie from my cell phone and asked him get everyone together in the waiting room and pray. Eventually the doctor decided to do a C-section. We later found out that he had misplaced the internal monitor and therefore what was supposed to be Rebecca's heartbeat on the monitor was Susan's. As they whisked Susan next door for a C-section, they told me to go to the lobby and wait. I knelled down in the hallway and prayed. God gave me a peace and told me not to rely on my own understanding and He reminded me of Peter walking on water to meet Christ. As long as Peter kept his eyes on Christ, he did not sink, but once he focused on the storm he sank. So I knew that I had to stay focused in my minds eye on Christ. Believe me this worked. He told me not to rely on my own understanding , because I am a nerd and I have to figure things out. He reminded me of Peter because Peter got a scolding from Christ "ye of little faith." and because I was new in my faith.
The next few hours were crazy. The baby was transported to NICU in south Shreveport and Susan stayed at Willis Knighton Bossier. Susan's mom and dad stayed with her and I stayed with Rebecca. Curt and Jeff took me to WK South at 2:00 in the morning.
At 6:00 am they clean the NICU so everyone has to leave. I went back to Bossier to wake up our girls and tell them what had happened. They are smart just like their mom. They are intuitive and loving.
It was a long drive from WK South to North Bossier, so I had time to think about how I would tell the girls that their sister had died, was revived but was in severe pain and their mom was going to be in the hospital away from Rebecca for a few days. I thought about each of their personalities and how I could tell them without upsetting them. This could be the most important conversation I ever had with them in their life and I just prayed that God would give we the words to comfort them and keep them from losing faith in Him. I planned a 5-10 minute explanation that I thought would cover both of them and leave them with hope and understanding.
I called ahead and told Elizabeth Guice, who took them home from the hospital and stayed with them, to start waking them up, because I needed to talk to them. I got home and told them I needed to talk to them about something serious. They were still excited from the night before. So I told them again, that we needed to sit at the kitchen table, because I wanted to be serious.
At that time, Katherine was 7 and Elizabeth was 4. They both sat near me and I said " you know girls, sometimes babies come easy and sometimes they come and its difficult..." Before I could finish my sentence Elizabeth said, "You mean like on Little House when baby Charles died." and then Katherine put her arm about ME and said "you know Dad, we're gonna spend more time in heaven with mom and Rebecca than we could ever spend with them here on earth." Elizabeth then said, "we can make it through this." Then I told them basically where the situation was at that time. That Rebecca could die and that Mom was better. The conversation was over, Elizabeth said a prayer for Mom and Rebecca and I had time to run by Willis Knighton Bossier to see Susan before the NICU reopened at 8:00 am. GOD IS GOOD.
You know if I had never given up cable, I would never have known how God uses our decisions to help prepare us and our loved ones for adversity in the future. By giving up cable time, God filled it with Little House. By watching Little House instead of Disney and Nickelodeon, my four year old learned a Biblical Truth. More importantly, Elizabeth had a point of reference on how to get by after the death of a loved one.
I almost did not share the "line and the dot" with Katherine, because I thought she was too young. But God says we should teach our children these truths. I am glad I did, because I had forgotten this concept and when Katherine said this it comforted me. God's truth returned to me from her mouth.
Since then, my kids have struggled with Rebecca's pain. They have had to learn how to "break" her seizures and feed her through her stomach tube. Most kids, would be sad that their sister was blind and could not smile and could only experience hunger and pain. Put my girls talk to Rebecca like she's fully healed, because they know that even it they lived to be 120 and she lived to be 120, they are going to spend more time with her in heaven than they could ever spend with her on this earth.
Just my thought for the day and why I gave up cable for 40 days of purpose /lent. God bless you!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Glass Half Full Comment
Typically I come from the glass is half-empty perspective and Ryan from the glass half-full perspective. However, when I read his last post I believe he was taking my view for a change, so now I will try to take his.
Yes, Rebecca did receive her "Kids Rock" chair, which is a nice word for her pediatric wheelchair last week. Must add that I was shocked that it far exceeded the expense of my first car! While it does not fit her as well as it should, we are working on it. It was nice to be able to let her mother, father and sisters take her for a walk. She seemed to calm just being outside in the beautiful weather with a slight breeze. It was nice to see her seem to relax to something. The transition should be interesting, but is going better that expected. For those of you who do not know Rebecca well - she is spoiled rotten. This started at an early age (1 month) when brain injuries make for irrationally irritable babies. Kristin Mosura discovered the "jog" that seemed to help - but this involved literally bouncing around the room in a fashion that my calf-muscles were not prepared for. Since that time, she has essentially been held almost every waking moment and often for sleeping moments. This occurred because the standard rules have not applied to her. When she gets too upset, it promotes even more seizure activity. No mother in her right mind can allow that to happen. However, she is now approaching 19 pounds and consistently holding her is not as easy as it once was. Needless to say, we are all hoping for a smooth transition that will allow for her seated position to improve. This is important for all of her muscular difficulties. She also received Botox injections in her arms and legs which should help to relax those muscles again. This is her second round, and we are hoping that it will go as well as the first.
Life is always an adventure thought. Rebecca seemed different Saturday morning, and she was running fever by that afternoon. Her fever essentially was as high as 103 and was not improving significantly with medicine or baths! A 3 hour doctor visit on Sunday revealed a flu-like virus was the culprit. She is still highly irritable, but her fever appears to have dissipated. So far so good for the rest of the family staying well. We'll just keep our fingers crossed. She is gaining weight in spite of it all, which is an accomplishment for her. Rebecca is also gaining some head control. She is able to hold her head up for about 30 seconds at a time. I have also convinced myself that she says "oma" for me. Lets just ignore the simple fact that it is the only word approximation that she has and let me believe it is for me. She also knows her routine and when it is disrupted for all of her delays. Simply put, she may be the most stubborn of us all! A difficult title to receive in this family. She is by far the bravest of us all - always giving love in her own way no matter how bad her day has been.
Ryan has now discovered facebook, and evidently has formed a page for me based on my numerous e-mails. He is enjoying reconnecting with old friends. We are also all excited because this year Ryan is able to coach both Katherine and Elizabeth, as well as my niece Amy, on the same softball team. The girls have really enjoyed the extra practice time with their daddy, and he thoroughly enjoys the extra time with them. It should definitely be an adventure!
Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support. Please also remember the new Gonzales baby and our loving neighbor Mrs. Bowden who needs healing. Finally - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. ELIZABETH! Glad to know you are that much older than me until December.
Yes, Rebecca did receive her "Kids Rock" chair, which is a nice word for her pediatric wheelchair last week. Must add that I was shocked that it far exceeded the expense of my first car! While it does not fit her as well as it should, we are working on it. It was nice to be able to let her mother, father and sisters take her for a walk. She seemed to calm just being outside in the beautiful weather with a slight breeze. It was nice to see her seem to relax to something. The transition should be interesting, but is going better that expected. For those of you who do not know Rebecca well - she is spoiled rotten. This started at an early age (1 month) when brain injuries make for irrationally irritable babies. Kristin Mosura discovered the "jog" that seemed to help - but this involved literally bouncing around the room in a fashion that my calf-muscles were not prepared for. Since that time, she has essentially been held almost every waking moment and often for sleeping moments. This occurred because the standard rules have not applied to her. When she gets too upset, it promotes even more seizure activity. No mother in her right mind can allow that to happen. However, she is now approaching 19 pounds and consistently holding her is not as easy as it once was. Needless to say, we are all hoping for a smooth transition that will allow for her seated position to improve. This is important for all of her muscular difficulties. She also received Botox injections in her arms and legs which should help to relax those muscles again. This is her second round, and we are hoping that it will go as well as the first.
Life is always an adventure thought. Rebecca seemed different Saturday morning, and she was running fever by that afternoon. Her fever essentially was as high as 103 and was not improving significantly with medicine or baths! A 3 hour doctor visit on Sunday revealed a flu-like virus was the culprit. She is still highly irritable, but her fever appears to have dissipated. So far so good for the rest of the family staying well. We'll just keep our fingers crossed. She is gaining weight in spite of it all, which is an accomplishment for her. Rebecca is also gaining some head control. She is able to hold her head up for about 30 seconds at a time. I have also convinced myself that she says "oma" for me. Lets just ignore the simple fact that it is the only word approximation that she has and let me believe it is for me. She also knows her routine and when it is disrupted for all of her delays. Simply put, she may be the most stubborn of us all! A difficult title to receive in this family. She is by far the bravest of us all - always giving love in her own way no matter how bad her day has been.
Ryan has now discovered facebook, and evidently has formed a page for me based on my numerous e-mails. He is enjoying reconnecting with old friends. We are also all excited because this year Ryan is able to coach both Katherine and Elizabeth, as well as my niece Amy, on the same softball team. The girls have really enjoyed the extra practice time with their daddy, and he thoroughly enjoys the extra time with them. It should definitely be an adventure!
Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support. Please also remember the new Gonzales baby and our loving neighbor Mrs. Bowden who needs healing. Finally - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. ELIZABETH! Glad to know you are that much older than me until December.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Update
this is a video that we put together for prayer requests.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvDsIs0aeYI
Rebecca got her first wheelchair this week. She seems to like it.
She is still in alot of pain and her second birthday is coming up in April, so please keep her in your prayers. She is still blind, but she seems to respond to our voices more.
Thanks for all the prayers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvDsIs0aeYI
Rebecca got her first wheelchair this week. She seems to like it.
She is still in alot of pain and her second birthday is coming up in April, so please keep her in your prayers. She is still blind, but she seems to respond to our voices more.
Thanks for all the prayers.
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