Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time of reflection and thanks.  This was a tough start for the school year because Rebecca was supposed to start Kindergarten.  Of course, her injury keeps her at home.  I did not know how the girls would react to this.  First days of school are such a standard event.  The only day we are early, hot breakfast, good attitudes, you know a unique experience.  Rebecca is doing good.  Her seizures are getting worse, she is getting taller, but she still weighs about 20 pounds. She will be 6 in April. 

Was not really sure how to handle her missing this milestone or help our family cope with it.  It was a difficult time.  She would have loved attending PCA, just like her sisters.  But her brain injury has limited her to a world of blindness and where she only feels pain and hunger.  But it is a world where she is surrounded by people that love her.  Especially, Mrs. Cathy who God brought to save us and care for Rebecca as if she was her favorite grandchild.  Truly a saint. 

Unable to find adequate words to guide, I was simply silent on the subject.  I decided I would talk about Rebecca missing out on school only if someone else brought it up.  Did not have a peace about talking through this event with the kids.  I had no words of comfort, clarity or perspective.  I was not sure why.  And in the sorority house of emotions that is our home, it remarkably passed without a word and was not brought up.

So thankfulness is really based on a realization that your fears and foes in life are on God's radar.  The first Pilgrim's were not excited about the food and friends.  They weren't planning on leaving family and friends to line up at the mercantile for Black Friday.  They were focused on coming together and Thanking God that what they feared was on God's radar.  They understood their entire existence was sustained and protected by God's wisdom, not their own.  They knew they could not do it on their own.  He brought them what they needed when they needed it even when they did not know what they needed- because they prayed alone and together for His will.  His presence was their assurance.  The trials and tribulations in their lives (death, disease, suffering) were viewed as opportunities for either God to show up and/or for them to stand up on the promises and commands of His word. No other alternative existed. 

Mrs. Scales, Beth's 4th grade teacher, encourages them to write a prayer journal each day.  Mrs. Scales and PCA are a blessing from God.  Beth never lets me read her Prayer journal, but she asked Susan and I to read this entry.  Its like she knew I needed to know. She processed her emotions with God and through His promises, not apart from them. 

My biggest fear is that my kids front row seat to this painful life Rebecca endures will spoil the precious seeds of faith planted in their life-and who could blame them.  So when I read this entry, it stirred an emotion of Thanks- because my fear was on His radar. 

May God bless you and keep you during this Season of THANKS!!