Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time of reflection and thanks.  This was a tough start for the school year because Rebecca was supposed to start Kindergarten.  Of course, her injury keeps her at home.  I did not know how the girls would react to this.  First days of school are such a standard event.  The only day we are early, hot breakfast, good attitudes, you know a unique experience.  Rebecca is doing good.  Her seizures are getting worse, she is getting taller, but she still weighs about 20 pounds. She will be 6 in April. 

Was not really sure how to handle her missing this milestone or help our family cope with it.  It was a difficult time.  She would have loved attending PCA, just like her sisters.  But her brain injury has limited her to a world of blindness and where she only feels pain and hunger.  But it is a world where she is surrounded by people that love her.  Especially, Mrs. Cathy who God brought to save us and care for Rebecca as if she was her favorite grandchild.  Truly a saint. 

Unable to find adequate words to guide, I was simply silent on the subject.  I decided I would talk about Rebecca missing out on school only if someone else brought it up.  Did not have a peace about talking through this event with the kids.  I had no words of comfort, clarity or perspective.  I was not sure why.  And in the sorority house of emotions that is our home, it remarkably passed without a word and was not brought up.

So thankfulness is really based on a realization that your fears and foes in life are on God's radar.  The first Pilgrim's were not excited about the food and friends.  They weren't planning on leaving family and friends to line up at the mercantile for Black Friday.  They were focused on coming together and Thanking God that what they feared was on God's radar.  They understood their entire existence was sustained and protected by God's wisdom, not their own.  They knew they could not do it on their own.  He brought them what they needed when they needed it even when they did not know what they needed- because they prayed alone and together for His will.  His presence was their assurance.  The trials and tribulations in their lives (death, disease, suffering) were viewed as opportunities for either God to show up and/or for them to stand up on the promises and commands of His word. No other alternative existed. 

Mrs. Scales, Beth's 4th grade teacher, encourages them to write a prayer journal each day.  Mrs. Scales and PCA are a blessing from God.  Beth never lets me read her Prayer journal, but she asked Susan and I to read this entry.  Its like she knew I needed to know. She processed her emotions with God and through His promises, not apart from them. 

My biggest fear is that my kids front row seat to this painful life Rebecca endures will spoil the precious seeds of faith planted in their life-and who could blame them.  So when I read this entry, it stirred an emotion of Thanks- because my fear was on His radar. 

May God bless you and keep you during this Season of THANKS!!

Today is Rebecca's 5th Birthday.  She is a strong fighter and has really struggled these last few years.  We love her and we are blessed by all the family and friends that love her. 
I just realized we haven't posted anything since last year.  Many of the doctor's never thought Rebecca would make it to her fifth birthday.  She is getting taller, but still only weighs about twenty pounds.  We thought she would need hip surgery a few months ago because the xrays revealed that her hips were out of socket.  They were gradually coming out of socket because her seizures cause her legs to cross at the knee and the force pulls her hips out.  So after thousands of seizures the inevitable happened.  This did not cause pain, because she does not walk.  After much prayer we decided not to do the surgery, because it would have required her to be in body cast for 6-8 weeks.  Also, she is so weak she may not have made it through the surgery or recovery and if she did she would have been in complete pain.  Since she is not weight bearing and will not walk, the surgery was not really necessary.   

Her seizures are a little more violent and frequent, but she handles them like a champ. 

Katherine and Elizabeth are playing the piano like pros.  They are at the point that I cannot help them and have been there since after the third lesson many years ago.  Mrs. Holbert is a great instructor and a blessing.  Katherine is dancing at Vicki's (another fine family that is a blessing to us) and is a Cheerleader at Providence Classical Academy.  Elizabeth is also dancing and plays softball.  She hits first or second because she always gets on base and plays second.  Neither has made a B yet on a report card.  Much better students than I ever was. 

Charlotte turned two and she is running the house.  She has two dogs and four ducks, well now three (don't ask.)  The ducks have Latin names- cause that's how we roll.  Katherine and Elizabeth have taught Charlotte most of the alphabet and she is already sarcastic.   

Susan is the assistant principal at Providence Classical Academy and teaches Latin and Advanced Math.  She loves her co-workers and staff.  They are such a great group of Christian leaders.  The school has really been a blessing to us because we need an environment that is equipped to nurture the spiritual side of our kids as they struggle.  The academics are rigorous, but the focus is on God.  The people at PCA have been a huge blessing this last year.

I am head chauffeur.  I spend most of the days in car lines.  I feel the pressure of a World War II paratrooper pilot in each car line only putting my foot on the break long enough to drop off the cargo and then moving on.  "Backpack" "Check""Lunch" "Check" "Dance Clothes" "Check" "Check"--- "GO GO GO."  I think every SUV should come standard with a red/green jump light above each passenger door to make the car line more efficient. 

Last year's every Thursday Chapel, turned into an everyday middle school chapel this school year.  This is truly the highlight of my day.  The middle schoolers at PCA really love God and want to know more about Him.  We start everyday with a 30 minute chapel lesson that challenges them.  This has been a blessing to me.  About two weeks into the school year I asked said" Look, I can't cover everything in 30 minutes.  If I bring some donuts and milk, then how many of you would come to school thirty minutes earlier on Tuesdays and Thursday to have a Bible Club?"  The next Tuesday, they ALL showed up and brought their little brothers and sisters.  What an amazing group of young men and women.  I like to think the donuts are only part of the reason they come. 

Mike Riddle from Answers in Genesis spoke at one Chapel time a few months ago.  He asked questions and drilled our students.  When he left he looked me in the eye and said "Ryan, I cannot believe how much those kids know about Genesis Chapters 1-11. Its remarkable."  I responded "They get it everyday from their teachers. Isn't is amazing." 

When Susan resigned from the Health Science Center after we realized how bad Rebecca's illness was, she said "I'll never be able to work anywhere again unless it is a Christian environment."  Not knocking her job, but feeling a need to make an impact for God in an environment that showed Him His full due respect.  Of course, my reaction was "I agree," but I was thinking "Where in the world is a PhD Psychologist going to get a job where God is honored."  A few years later God provided PCA as an opportunity for Susan to work in a Christian environment and use her doctorate.  This is an environment where God is honored and given His full respect.  He is not an accessory He is the centerpiece. 

It is hard to believe that five years have passed since that awful night, that awful storm in our life.  Where I almost lost the love of my life and my baby girl.   But God has seen us through it.  He carries us each day.  He draws us near to him and continues to transform us as He reveals more of Himself to us.  I remember times that I have been in sadness over Rebecca, pushing meds through her tube or holding her through a seizure and screams and the Prince of Darkness coaxes me to a content sadness. It is those times that we draw near to God and sometimes He does not say a word.  That silence used to bother me.  Recently, I heard something that gave me comfort.  Does a teacher talk when they are giving a test? No, because if they did, they would not be a good teacher.  Telling an answer during a test results in a false awareness for the student.  It is not right.  So the teacher stays quiet until the end of the test and then gives the honest results.  So, God is silent during our struggles because He is the great teacher, once the test is over, HE will let us know how we did.  He will give us an honest account so we can know where we are and what corrections need to be made. 

Thank you for your continued prayers.  We need them now more than ever.