A Secret Truth

I am now more terrified because not only has Ryan informed others about this site, but it also appears that people are reading it. Thank you for your compliments. Please know that I may not always respond appropriately to them. My verbal abilities have always been questionable. What I want to convey is that it is not by my vision that I am able to see things clearly or by my strength that I am standing. It is God and God alone. Do not be convinced that I am always in a clear mind or strong either. For each day I ask God for the strength and wisdom to make it through the day (as well as anything else He knows I may need).

What I am about to share may have you convinced that I need to be institutionalized or convinced that God revealed a secret truth to me. I am hoping it is the latter. The other day I was watching the typical lives of those around me continuing as usual. I was alone with Rebecca at that moment. God revealed a secret to me that was too amazing to keep to myself and too mysterious for words to describe. I believe that He intended it to be too difficult to convey with words so that He alone has the power to reveal the truth in His perfect timing to each of us. I will do my best to describe it for you. It had something to do with the nothingness with which we consume ourselves and the temporary nature of this life. It had to do with the beauty of His grace and His eternity. For this life is not intended to be about us but about our Creator. What we do has eternal meaning only to the extent that it brings glory to God. I pray that each of you who reads this may also experience this secret truth that was revealed to me.

Placing Faith

I now recognize that many of you are using this site to keep up with Rebecca's health. She has been through a great deal since my last post. In summary, she was placed on a medication that is not appropriate for infants. Since she metabolized the medication so quickly, her episodes worsened again. Following an additional hospitalization, God led us to Dallas Children's Medical Center where we were treated with compassionate and knowledgeable physicians and staff. Following the immediate treatment of her seizures, another EEG confirmed that she was in fact having seizures. Nothing was stated that suggested Dystonia, which means we do not know whether this is present or not. They had already started her on the appropriate medication when the seizure was recorded. She appeared to be on an appropriate dosage, but she has had additional episodes. The recent seizures have been much less severe. We are following up with our pediatrician today to check her medication levels. What has sustained us all during this process is that our faith has been in the Lord to direct us, not the physicians - No offense intended to medical professionals. The Lord guided us from physician without much hope to physicians that have clearly seen and believe in God's workmanship and healing. Please continue to pray for Rebecca. The most pressing need for her right now is for her seizures to be controlled and for her to be able to latch on and take a bottle with ease. Overall, she is doing much better. In the past, she has either been crying or sleeping. She has clearly been in a great deal of pain over the last several weeks. With the new medication it is as though we have our baby back most of the time. She sits contently and explores her environment as a baby should. Her sisters are at long last able to hold her and kiss her again. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

I write this to assure each of you and to announce that Rebecca is a miracle of God. People say she never should have opened her eyes following her birth. They said she would likely need a feeding tube. But I say to you, God is faithful. His word is living and His grace is true. We prayed for her to breathe independently - she did. We prayed for her kidneys to function independently - they did. We prayed for her to be able to regulate her temperature - she did. We prayed for her to be able to eat - she did. We prayed for her to not only be able to eat, but to nurse - she did. All of these acts and so many more are evidence of God's love and faithfulness, and he is not finished with her yet. God has healed my child - He has made her whole. Surely her life has already been more successful and meaningful than my own. For we were made to worship our Father and to introduce the lost to Him. Rebecca started working in His fields to increase His harvest from her first breathe. May each of you who reads this know the Father who forgives our sins and cures all diseases and the Son who was wounded and sacrificed that we may be healed.

Update

Rebecca is now home from the hospital. Monday night she began to have what appeared to be seizures. After additional testing, the physicians believe that she has dystonia as a result of the brain injury - not seizures. The medication for either is the same, and we have been sent home on this medicine. She has not had an episode since early Wednesday and is doing well. Please continue to pray for her as she goes through the healing process.