Award Winning Poem

Congratulations to Katherine for winning the Young Author's Contest for her grade two years in a row. Last year it was a story about spending a week with Jesus. This year, a Christmas poem that I would like to share with all of you.

Merry people
Exciting carolers
Really special holiday
Ready to open presents
You better go to sleep on Christmas Eve!

Christ Jesus was born.
Ho Ho Ho!
Rudolph
Interesting gifts
Snowflakes falling
Trust in God
Many surprises
A Secret Santa
Saint Nick


Katherine promises her daddy that it is a poem even if it does not rhyme.

Naughty or Nice List

As the cousins gathered at their Nana & Pop's house for a Christmas card picture, a knock sounded at the door. The sarcastic children declare, "It's Santa Claus." Much to their surprise it was Santa Claus himself! He came through the front door for fear of a fire and had many stories to entertain about his reindeer and Mrs. Claus. However, the most interesting stories were those he had for each of the fair cousins. He seemed to know each of them by name, as well as their good - and bad - deeds! It was all laughter as he called them each out and declared their areas for improvement. It seemed to have occurred in a flash when Mrs. Claus called the house to summon him home and reprimand him for his lateness. After he left, the children gathered for one more group picture, and they each had the strangest expression on their face (except Rebecca, who slept through it all). These children were not excited, but scared to death. How on earth could they ever make the good list if he really did know them?

This calls to question a thought for us all as we celebrate the birth of Christ Jesus. Let us all take the time to reflect that we will have to answer one day for all we have done. I expect not one of us will be blameless. The birth of Jesus Christ led to the sacrifice of the one without fault, for you. It is only through him that we will ever make the nice list. Take a minute to reflect, for there is much more at stake than a present on Christmas morn. There is eternity to consider. What will your response be when your imperfections are brought to judgement?

All I Want for Christmas

I never have been one to receive gifts well. My responses are always so awkward that the person giving the gift has surely regretted it. Perhaps this is because I do not typically want tangible gifts. The same is true now more than ever. There is nothing that I want that someone can purchase or make. This year, I can honestly say there is only one thing that I want for Christmas. This is a gift that only my Heavenly Father can grant. I want my Rebecca to be healed. I recognize that this is a loaded request. I want her to stop hurting and suffering. I want to see her smile. Perhaps I have not updated the website because I want to share the positive with you. However, there has been no change for Rebecca, which actually makes it worse. She is almost 8 months old and has lost her ability to track objects with her eyes and her ability to look at others. We have yet to see any purposeful movement for her. Her brain is not growing, and her seizures and spasms are not stopping. A recent increase in medication is hoped to improve her condition, but it has not as of yet. I expect we will be adding yet another medication for her in January to help ease her suffering and to hopefully stop her seizures. Her doctors give us the expectation for her to function somewhere within the severe to profound range of retardation. Translation, she may never do many simple things such as sit up. For example, right now her "mental age" is that of less than a one month old baby, so she is not expect to do anything that a 1 month old can do. This is why she appears so young to most who see her. I paint a bleak picture intentionally. She was dead for a minimum of 15 minutes, much likely for a lot longer in utero. The doctors expect very little from her. It is a miracle that she is able to eat, and she has been able to eat baby food as well as take a bottle. Everything she does is a direct result of God's grace. Anything she is ever able to do will continue to be a direct result of God's grace. Please continue to pray for this mother's deepest wish. For God is not confined by the parameters of this physical world and all things are possible through Him. May you each feel the full weight of your blessings this Christmas season.

Seasons Changing

Pretty in Pink

The Definition of Sass

Dallas News

I apologize for not having posted sooner. Things get hectic when you are unexpectedly gone for a week and illness strikes upon your return. The Gatti girls are temporarily camped out at their grandparents' house, not due to their illness, but to their daddy's illness. Ryan has been struck with an awful bug that the rest of us are trying to avoid while giving him some much needed rest.

We returned home on Sunday from Dallas. I will do my best to inform you from the technical to the layman's lingo. Official terminology on the discharge papers is as follows: severe hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy with secondary infantile spasms, hypsarhythmia with intractable seizures, and severe developmental delay. Translation - before and after her birth Rebecca suffered from a lack of oxygen to her brain for an extended period of time. This resulted in a significant injury to her brain, which has resulted in a loss of structure to her brain overall and in critical areas, as well as a lack of appropriate brain growth. Her brain also has not developed much, if any, myelin sheath, which typically occurs by 6 months of age. This is what allows the electronic impulses to travel and allow the brain to communicate effectively with the rest of the body. Rebecca is now over 5 months old. This has resulted in a disorganized pattern of electronic impulses in her brain and the development of infantile spasms. This makes it difficult to differentiate what is seizures and what is involuntary muscle movement. In the neurologist's words - "The EEG could not look any worse." The pattern is typically associated with profound delays, which is what they predict for Rebecca. In their words, she may never sit up or crawl or do many basic things. Also, her seizure activity is likely to continue, and the medical professionals hope only to be able to make the level of activity to make it manageable for Rebecca. The delays are already evident. At one point, she was looking at us and tracking, but even these basic skills are no longer present. She is currently functioning as a baby of less than 1 month of age. However, the neurologists were surprised at the amount of brain matter left given her history, and she has done things that are unexpected. She has gained weight and tolerated feedings well.

To dismiss rumors - she is not in danger of dying. At one point in the hospital her seizures were severe and not stopping in spite of medication. During this time she received a great deal of medication that placed her at-risk to stop breathing as they loaded her and rescued her with several medications. This risk has passed.

The good news - Rebecca remains in God's hands. Only He knows what He has planned for her life. Someone who loves Rebecca very much reminded the doctors (who were telling us that everything happens for a reason) that everyone has two main purposes in life: to love/serve God and to take as many people with you to heaven as possible. Rebecca is already fulfilling her purpose. If she or her sisters have touched your life in a special way, please leave a comment that I can share with them to help them gain a more complete understanding of the true purpose of living. If you do not want me to post it, then I will keep it personal and strictly for the girls eyes upon request. Thank you for your continued prayer and support.

Thursday Pm

Rebecca is doing better today. (Yesterday was very rough on them all). Please continue to pray for Rebecca, Ryan and Susan as they are in Dallas. They hope to come home this weekend. Pray for Katherine and Elizabeth also as they are here with their Grandparents, the Lockharts.
-km

Rebecca Update: Wednesday 3 pm

Dear Friends,

After a few weeks of calm, Rebecca started having seizures last Wednesday. This concerned us because she is on strong medicine and should not be seizing or having spasms.So we decided to go back to Dallas to have her medicine changed. The seizures became worse in frequency and duration, so the doctors decided to run an EEG.

Rebecca's EEG was not good. In fact, the doctor told us that the test results could not be worse. She is having what seems to be constant seizures and spasms. The neurological team has changed her medicine and she is now on several different kinds of seizure medicines and we will have an MRI tomorrow and another EEG near weeks end. A feeding tube has been placed in her nose, so that she can continue to get nourishment. The medicine has sedated her and she cannot suckle a bottle.

Susan has remained very strong through all of this, she is a true woman of God, and God has kept us close to Him during the last few weeks. We can feel all the prayers for our peace of mind and wisdom in making decisions.

Please continue to pray that Rebecca will not suffer and the wonderful doctors at Children's Medical Center will continue to meet her physical and our spiritual needs. Also, I ask that you specifically pray for Susan's mom and dad, Al and Marcia Lockhart, has they have really been a blessing in caring for, loving and nurturing Rebecca on a daily basis. Pray a special covering of the Holy Spirit over them.

Also, when we left Monday morning, we thought this would be a quick trip to Dallas for a medicine change, we are not prepared for the news that we received. So please pray for Katherine and Elizabeth as they go through this tough time with their sisters illness. Pray that this experience will draw them closer to God.

Once again, thanks to all of you for your prayers and kind words.

Ryan E. Gatti

Please Continue To Pray

Ryan and Susan are in Dallas with Rebecca. The EEG results were not what they were hoping. Please pray for Rebecca and the Gatti Family...
-km

Prayer Request

To all of you prayer warriors out there - Please keep Rebecca and her sisters in your prayers. Over the last 2 weeks Rebecca has had "tremors" for lack of a better word. They became troublesome by increasing in frequency and severity last Thursday. They make her very upset, tense, and uncomfortable. We have tried to adjust her medication to control them unsuccessfully. So - we are back to Dallas tomorrow whether they want us or not. We need to make sure that these are not seizures that she is continuing to experience. Please pray for her healing, for the physician's wisdom, and for her sisters as they go without their mom, dad, and baby sister once again.

Thought for the Day

A thought for myself that perhaps someone else benefit from as well:

I hope to live in appreciation of what I have been blessed with rather than spend my time focusing on what I do not have.

Just for the fun of it!

Nana's Birthday & the Unexpected Guest

Dear Nana,

"I loved making your birthday cake, and I love how you always play those dolls with me. Love - love Nana. Happy Birthday!" Love, Elizabeth

"Happy B-Day Nana! I'm glad that you liked your cake (with sand, water, Jesus signs, butterflies, flowers, and 'Happy B-Day Nana' for decorations) that we worked hard on. I love you." Love, Katherine

Nana, thank your for sharing your special day with us!

______________________________________

As part of the post-party ritual, I was picking up toys from the pool. Suddenly, I heard a "ribbit" followed by a plop. "Princess" had made a late appearance at the party. Perhaps she enjoyed having the pool all to herself. The chase then began as Daddy Gatti has always loved his frogs. In the end, Elizabeth takes after her daddy. "Princess" was spared from ingesting too much chlorine. I suppose that by naming her Princess she was able to avoid the kiss!

Miracles

I cannot count the number of times that others or myself have made the following statement: "How could people have directly seen Jesus perform miracles and then doubt and lack faith?" Given recent experiences, I have been forced to ask whether we are any different. My evidence lies in the beautiful blue eyes above. Not only did non-blue-eyed parents contribute to her genetics, but she is now 4 months old. It is by God's grace alone that she has been spared. So many miracles have occurred on her behalf in such a short time period, yet some assume the worst outcome possible for her as a foregone conclusion. This assumption leaves no room for the possibility of continued miracles in spite of evidence to the contrary. Rebecca is doing very well. She started to take a bottle so well that we decided to begin nursing again. This has been a blessing for us both. This, in combination with her recovery from the upper respiratory infection, has resulted in her being much more content. She has also begun to talk to her sister and myself. Rebecca even manages a partial smile as we smile at her. She also enjoys pushing up off her loved ones and supporting her weight on her elbows. She had her follow-up visit to neurology in Dallas where we learned that her head circumference had not changed in two months, which suggests that her brain is not growing at an acceptable rate. So, prayer warriors out there can continue to pray for the healing and appropriate development and recovery of her brain. We have already seen some growth in her circumference since the visit. Thank you all for your ongoing prayers and support.

Happy Birthday Grandfathers!

Dear Pops,

Love you Pops. I love you so much Pops around the earth and to the planets. I love how you are my best friend. Happy Birthday from Elizabeth.

Happy Birthday Pops! Hope you have the best birthday! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love Katherine!

Whaaa! Ehh, ooh. Love Rebecca

Thank you for loving us. We are honored to have you as our very own Pops. What a blessing! Did we mention that it is your 20th anniversary of your 50th birthday to the world yet! Oh well, you may not notice now that you are 70 YEARS OLD! Love, The Gatti Girls

Dear Poppy,

I love you Poppy. I love you so much. Happy Birthday! Love, Elizabeth (who wants to go watch Hannah Montana now)

Happy Birthday Poppy! I hope you had the best birthday ever! Your party was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Katherine

Whaa, ehh, ooh! Love, Rebecca

Poppy, thanks for being our grandfather. You are always there when we need a prayer. If only every girl could have a Poppy to sit by her side! What a blessing to have a grandfather who loves us! Happy Birthday, the Gatti Girls.

God's Understanding

Those of you who know me best can appreciate a colleague declaring the SGSTS (Susan Gatti Scattered Thought Syndrome) in my honor. The scattered thoughts raced through my head as I am not even attempting to sleep yet. I am thinking of all the comments people have made to me, all well intended. Some comments are worthy of a blog and some not so worthy. I would just like each of you to have a reference point for your thoughts that orient you to my own. Perhaps this perspective can help you as you talk with those who have been through a difficult time.

I am NOT skilled to understand what has happened to my family. I have often cried and repeatedly stated that I do not understand. Each time I come to the same conclusion: I do not have to understand because God does. Some comments from others and thoughts from my own head have questioned the timing of Rebecca's birth. Some statements have even questioned her revival in fear of a difficult life. Many remarks have noted nothing was wrong prior to that night. Please remember that it is not our place to question God's plan for our lives or the lives of those we love. His understanding is perfect. I believe that when I am seated next to my Heavenly Father He will have some "videos" prepared for me. One will demonstrate what my life and the life of my family would have been like if Rebecca's birth had occurred without complication - the other if Rebecca had not survived. Perhaps only then will I completely understand why she has had to endure the pain and suffering she has. Until that time, I trust that God knows best and remains in control. He will sustain my family and carry out His plan according to His good and perfect will.

School Begins

Welcome to the day Katherine started school. Much to our amazement, our oldest baby started 2nd grade! Rebecca looked around for sources of entertainment. Katherine had left for school, and Elizabeth was sleeping off a respiratory infection. Rebecca was not happy with the result - only a mom to entertain. Fortunately her sister arrived home after not too long and saved her. To add insult to injury, I had to go back to work this week, and Elizabeth begins preschool after Labor Day. Preschool can begin for Elizabeth because she accomplished her summer goal - swimming independently across the pool!

I apologize for the lack of posts - not typically a good sign. Let me get the health updates out of the way. When we returned from Dallas, Rebecca continued to have seizures. To complicate things her seizures have also presented similar to an infantile reaction to severe gastric reflux. We confirmed the presence of reflux and adjusted her medications and things then improved. Now it was Elizabeth's turn. She suffered from a very high fever and vomiting as a result of an upper respiratory infection for several days. Rebecca was next to share in the illness. We are still trying to return her to health and stop the vomiting. Nutrition is far too critical for her at this point for her to lose any nutrients. My prayer warriors need to pray that the vomiting has been a result of the infections and not a more lasting GI complication. We have an appointment to make sure it is not the latter. As all mothers can appreciate - Katherine has now started coughing, and dad is taking Tylenol Sinus. I believe God has bestowed immune systems of steel to mothers.

Yes, you did read that I returned to work and survived. I was pleasantly surprised that I have some memory left! As I struggle with leaving my children, I was given the knowledge that as long as we glorify God in our actions these actions are worthwhile. I was highly remorseful because it occurred to me that my past work actions have not glorified God. I have not consistently prayed over each child and family I have worked with in the past. I had neglected to use my work to serve the Lord in the most simple of ways. This error has been corrected. My limited knowledge from graduate school and working experience has been helpful professionally and personally. However, I am only an endlessly flawed sinner. My direction needs to come from the Lord if I am to make wise decisions. I have told several friends that my psychology books have been on the shelf collecting dust, and my Bible and spiritual books are on my nightstand. I now recognize that this needs to happen in both my home and my work if my professional career is to be worthwhile. I pray that each of you are able to find a way to make your actions worthwhile, and I would appreciate the same prayer for me in return!

A Secret Truth

I am now more terrified because not only has Ryan informed others about this site, but it also appears that people are reading it. Thank you for your compliments. Please know that I may not always respond appropriately to them. My verbal abilities have always been questionable. What I want to convey is that it is not by my vision that I am able to see things clearly or by my strength that I am standing. It is God and God alone. Do not be convinced that I am always in a clear mind or strong either. For each day I ask God for the strength and wisdom to make it through the day (as well as anything else He knows I may need).

What I am about to share may have you convinced that I need to be institutionalized or convinced that God revealed a secret truth to me. I am hoping it is the latter. The other day I was watching the typical lives of those around me continuing as usual. I was alone with Rebecca at that moment. God revealed a secret to me that was too amazing to keep to myself and too mysterious for words to describe. I believe that He intended it to be too difficult to convey with words so that He alone has the power to reveal the truth in His perfect timing to each of us. I will do my best to describe it for you. It had something to do with the nothingness with which we consume ourselves and the temporary nature of this life. It had to do with the beauty of His grace and His eternity. For this life is not intended to be about us but about our Creator. What we do has eternal meaning only to the extent that it brings glory to God. I pray that each of you who reads this may also experience this secret truth that was revealed to me.

Placing Faith

I now recognize that many of you are using this site to keep up with Rebecca's health. She has been through a great deal since my last post. In summary, she was placed on a medication that is not appropriate for infants. Since she metabolized the medication so quickly, her episodes worsened again. Following an additional hospitalization, God led us to Dallas Children's Medical Center where we were treated with compassionate and knowledgeable physicians and staff. Following the immediate treatment of her seizures, another EEG confirmed that she was in fact having seizures. Nothing was stated that suggested Dystonia, which means we do not know whether this is present or not. They had already started her on the appropriate medication when the seizure was recorded. She appeared to be on an appropriate dosage, but she has had additional episodes. The recent seizures have been much less severe. We are following up with our pediatrician today to check her medication levels. What has sustained us all during this process is that our faith has been in the Lord to direct us, not the physicians - No offense intended to medical professionals. The Lord guided us from physician without much hope to physicians that have clearly seen and believe in God's workmanship and healing. Please continue to pray for Rebecca. The most pressing need for her right now is for her seizures to be controlled and for her to be able to latch on and take a bottle with ease. Overall, she is doing much better. In the past, she has either been crying or sleeping. She has clearly been in a great deal of pain over the last several weeks. With the new medication it is as though we have our baby back most of the time. She sits contently and explores her environment as a baby should. Her sisters are at long last able to hold her and kiss her again. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

I write this to assure each of you and to announce that Rebecca is a miracle of God. People say she never should have opened her eyes following her birth. They said she would likely need a feeding tube. But I say to you, God is faithful. His word is living and His grace is true. We prayed for her to breathe independently - she did. We prayed for her kidneys to function independently - they did. We prayed for her to be able to regulate her temperature - she did. We prayed for her to be able to eat - she did. We prayed for her to not only be able to eat, but to nurse - she did. All of these acts and so many more are evidence of God's love and faithfulness, and he is not finished with her yet. God has healed my child - He has made her whole. Surely her life has already been more successful and meaningful than my own. For we were made to worship our Father and to introduce the lost to Him. Rebecca started working in His fields to increase His harvest from her first breathe. May each of you who reads this know the Father who forgives our sins and cures all diseases and the Son who was wounded and sacrificed that we may be healed.

Update

Rebecca is now home from the hospital. Monday night she began to have what appeared to be seizures. After additional testing, the physicians believe that she has dystonia as a result of the brain injury - not seizures. The medication for either is the same, and we have been sent home on this medicine. She has not had an episode since early Wednesday and is doing well. Please continue to pray for her as she goes through the healing process.

For your enjoyment - Elizabeth reminding me to smell the flowers & Rebecca looking fabulous at 7 weeks old.

Lessons from a 7-year old

As my Katherine was taking care of her mother and her baby sister, she shared her insight with me. She told me that we do not deserve such a wonderful gift. Katherine said that we make so many mistakes and sin so much that it is amazing God would give us a beautiful baby girl. We can all gain some perspective from the God-given wisdom of a child.

Daddy Gatti

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Although this blog is titled the "Gatti Girls," we would not be the quad that we are without our amazing father. The primary responsibility of a father is to lead their family to know the Heavenly Father. What a blessing to have three girls who will be exposed daily by their earthly father to their Heavenly Father. Three girls to draw Bible stories with during breakfast, to discuss Biblical truths together, to admire the sky God painted together, to pray with and more. I never stop being amazed at the creative ways he brings Christian teaching before our girls. Happy Father's Day to our best friend and our role model. We love you.

"Dear father you are the best father in the whole world." Love, Elizabeth

"Dad, you're the best father any girl could ever have. Hope you have the best Father's Day ever. I love you." Love, Katherine

"Dear Dad, you make us smile. Thank you for making my bo-bo better, for making muffins this morning, and for the date." Love, Katherine and Elizabeth

Blessings

So often God bestows blessings on us all so freely that we take them for granted. For example, we take for granted that our children will be delivered into this world healthy and rather uneventfully. We take for granted that we will be able to hold our child after their birth. We take for granted we will be able to introduce siblings to their baby shortly after their birth. The examples are endless, as are the lessons that this experience and my children are likely to teach me. I will no longer take my children's health for granted. I will do my best to appreciate every smile, every touch, every word from my children - and so much more, in the good moments as well as the bad.

My Rebecca is one of many examples of God's miracles of healing. Only God can restore her health completely, and I fully believe in His power to do just that. He knitted her together in my womb and is the only One who can restore her. Her life was saved for a purpose. It has already demanded the faith of her family that God is in control.

The pictures are just a small example of the blessings that have been bestowed upon our family as a result of God's grace. When my baby was taken from my being, she was without life. While I heard the physician's words, "Oh My Lord," and I did not hear the sound of my baby, only one thought brought me solace - GOD IS IN CONTROL. God chose to heal her, to allow her sisters the opportunity to hold her hand, and to bless her family with her homecoming. There are many unanswered questions left, and we remain in a place of faith. I am more appreciative than words can express that I have an almighty and merciful God in which to place my faith in rather than the things of this flawed world. I pray that each of you can recognize and appreciate all the blessings, big and small, that God has provided to you. Mostly, I pray that each of us can take solace in the fact that God is in control.

Memories

I always knew that photographs captured memories. I recently noticed that they capture more than just the memories you have, but also the moments you missed along the way. Moments are precious, and your interpretation of them varies based on your perspective. Through a priceless gift I have been made aware of this. Notice in these photographs several things:

• the personality of a child only 2 weeks of age -- boredom, discomfort, curiousity, contentment, . . .
• the look of myself and my child feeling the blessing of grace that allowed us to be home together for the first time

To my incredible friend - thank you for providing me with the memories of these precious, irreplaceable moments.

Baby Rebecca

Finally Home......